#5296: THE ONLY WAY "SOME" PEOPLE CAN "EXPRESS" THEMSELVES

thanx SOBO
--my rainbow afro wig
--my tongue-depressor cityscapes
--"Concerto for Breast Pump, In D"

#8220: TASTES LIKE CHICKEN!

--toficken
--whatever's in these frozen tacos
--"Smells Like Chicken", by Calvin Klein

#3359: More Collective Nouns

--a conspiracy of paranoids
--an infiltration of nose hair
--a clown-car of poets

#7404: WHO ISN'T A WANKER?

--Doug Wanker (that is, after the incident with the goat at the Wanker Family Reunion in '97)
--the goat
--actually, most goats

#117: I AM KNOWN BY MANY NAMES

[with assistance from DKF]
--The Weasel Freezer
--Captain Eleven-Thirty
--Jeffrey Condiments

#45633: REARRANGEMENTS THAT MAKE THE WORLD KOOKIER

--Bert of Parrot-Ice
--tiger-striped people running for public office
--cubic feet, round shoes

#79: SOME DAYS YOU EAT THE ___, OTHER DAYS YOU ___

--bear, barely eat
--bear, by the bear get eaten
--beer, drink the beers

#3984: WHO'S COUNTING, ANYWAY?

--Irving. Maybe his older brother too.
--the "All-Counting" clicky thing
--Fuck it...most people.

#6851: MORE FOODS TO AVOID

--angel-dusted donut holes
--"Spare the Hot Fat, Spoil the French Fries" brand frozen French fries
--the living flesh of your co-workers

#12712: THE SPIRITS ARE WITH YOU (Regular Spirits' Day Off)

--Etherview the Wispy
--Stuttering Frankenstein
--Mime-in-a-Box

#9094: POLYGONS (Most Tranquil)

--pineapple-shape
--gonebabygon
--zen-o-hedron

#460: DESSERT OPTIONS ON THE SUMMIT OF MT. EVEREST

(list by LS,PSM,L and EM,JDF @SOBO)

--gore-tex
--that dead Belgian's chocolate bars
--sno-cone

#557: UNDER-HERALDED SECOND BANANAS

--Pancho
--Sancho
--Bailey Quarters

#2109: "ZESTY" ITEMS

--lemons
--certain flavors of Doritos
--Lemon Pledge (not in Europe)

#4423: LIFESTYLE TIPS FOR NOT CALLING ATTENTION TO YOURSELF

--Dress in the colors of earth and sand.
--No hats with horns.
--Scream only when others are screaming.

#10009: DON'T TAKE YOUR ___ OFF OF THE ___

--decals, van
--eggs, market
--special mutant powers, dead mutant

#75b: THIS WEEK'S LOTTERY NOs

--Not a chance in Hell
--Will not happen
--No. We mean it.

#6080: SPARE THE ___, SPOIL THE ___

--hot fat, french fries
--caulk, basement "rumpus" room
--sinners, apocalypse

#2856: Rejected Ideas for New Disneyland Rides

(from out far-flung correspondents)

--Autopiabahn
--Pirates of Somalia
--Soarin' over Cairo

#1000: LESS COMMONLY USED POETRY METRICS

--duckdecasyllabic
--pentupangryc
--toupee

#7717: THREE MORE THINGS THAT ARE BETTER WITH A "FIESTA!"

--masturbation
--prison
--a Ford Fiesta (but not much)

#888: CIVIC DUTIES (Fun!)

--exciting the librarians
--packing the mayor's afternoon bowl
--shouting out the hour from the Naked Shouting Tower

#65666: COLD-CUTS OF THE DAMNED

--olive-drab loaf
--foot sausage
--corned beak

#15003: RHYMING DREAM DATES

--The Dalai Lama and Lady Gaga
--Albert Einstein and Robert Heinlein
--Pablo Neruda and the Big Fat Buddha

#9750: ZOMBIE LOVE STORIES

(from last evening's SoBo madness...)

--Romeo and Juliet's Brains
--The Naked and the Undead
--He Loved Her for Her Brains