#4588: More Animals Driven Out of Their Habitats by the Care Bears

-- Care Caribou
-- Care Karaoke Singers
-- Care Trout

#2422: Investment Advice from Squirrels

--collect nuts
--acquire more nuts
--purchase nut futures

#740: Rumored Trades

--abstinence for non-abstinence
--steady job for dream of pursuing career as writer of 3-item lists
--consciousness for unconsciousness

#7451: Don't Take Your Love to Here Either, Ruby

--to sleep
--to Steve's party
--to the free clinic

#787b: Alternative Wednesday Nicknames

--Phlump-day
--Chump-day
--Sumpin'-Sump-day

#1554: Born, Converted

--Celtic, Celtish
--free, leased
--polydactyl, Unitarian

#12515: Wait…Is That?…

--The midget from that TV show?
--That Canadian girl you met at camp?
--Mom? In this underwear catalog?

#15515: In ____ We Trust (Other Currencies)

--frosting (The Duchy of Pastrynia)
--nuts (squirrel)
--Steverino (The Planet Steve)

#222: Mark of the Beast's Cousin, Phil

--the number 222
--refrigerator hums louder
--your ears start sweating

#3848: Drop Your ____ and Grab Your ____ !

--ducks, pucks
--phones, scones
--oranges, door hinges