#68075: Prison-Related Reasons to Sell House

 -- unsightly gun-towers

 -- too close to brother-in-law

 -- won't toss our baseball back over the fence

#74487: Special Sauce (Other Species)

 -- tears of foreign orphans (Dick Cheney)

 -- acorn drool (squirrel)

 -- Miracle-Whip (televangelfetishists)

#74120: Extra Commandments (Not Used)

 -- Thou shalt not make excessive lip-smacking and other yummy noises.

 -- Honor thy offers.

 -- Quit peeing in the sink.

#2980: I'd ____ a Mile in His ____

 -- Turkey-trot, Hip-boots

 -- Cringe, Insecurities

 -- Flounce, Bloomers

#76292: Assorted Surprises after Completely Undressing

 -- third foot but no third leg

 -- tattoo of Vivian Vance on taint

 -- date isn't retching

#43121: Red Rover, Red Rover, Can ____ ____ ____

 -- Someone Find Dover?

 -- Purple Look Mauver?

 -- Big Bird Bite Grover?