#5128: Remember to Shut

-- the door in the face of the reanimated corpse of your wife's boyfriend
-- your cakehole, from time to time
-- the curtains before you do your whole "Risky Business" dance number

#2900: Better than a VIP

--PhDIP
--IPILF
--BLTIP

#8188: Accomplishable in Less Than 1 Minute

-- reply to text
-- deflavoring of gum
-- complete loss of moral compass

#2009: Non-Partisan Congressional Masturbation Euphemisms

--filling the buster
--barreling the pork
--whipping the minority

#7540: You're Next in Line...! (Bad Lines)

-- ...to be licked by the cannibal king's food taster
-- ...for periodontal surgery
-- ...for a sharp punch in the gut from Mike

#15231: Trees for the Forest!

-- oaky-doke
-- sycamoraphant
-- kiss-aspen

#9915: Brief Synopsis

-- It's about you.
-- It's worth it.
-- Ends.

#6033: By the Time I Get to ____, She Will Be ____

-- Vegas, discovering that the cashbox is sort of dented
-- San Diego, still laughing at how lame my attempt to break into the cashbox was
-- Ensenada, not laughing quite so hard when she realizes that her hubcaps are missing