#75b: THIS WEEK'S LOTTERY NOs

--Not a chance in Hell
--Will not happen
--No. We mean it.

#6080: SPARE THE ___, SPOIL THE ___

--hot fat, french fries
--caulk, basement "rumpus" room
--sinners, apocalypse

#2856: Rejected Ideas for New Disneyland Rides

(from out far-flung correspondents)

--Autopiabahn
--Pirates of Somalia
--Soarin' over Cairo

#1000: LESS COMMONLY USED POETRY METRICS

--duckdecasyllabic
--pentupangryc
--toupee

#7717: THREE MORE THINGS THAT ARE BETTER WITH A "FIESTA!"

--masturbation
--prison
--a Ford Fiesta (but not much)

#888: CIVIC DUTIES (Fun!)

--exciting the librarians
--packing the mayor's afternoon bowl
--shouting out the hour from the Naked Shouting Tower

#65666: COLD-CUTS OF THE DAMNED

--olive-drab loaf
--foot sausage
--corned beak

#15003: RHYMING DREAM DATES

--The Dalai Lama and Lady Gaga
--Albert Einstein and Robert Heinlein
--Pablo Neruda and the Big Fat Buddha

#9750: ZOMBIE LOVE STORIES

(from last evening's SoBo madness...)

--Romeo and Juliet's Brains
--The Naked and the Undead
--He Loved Her for Her Brains

#8120: BUZZER-BEATERS! (Geologic Time)

--"Cretaceous Days Fun-Run!" mammal results
--ionosphere polarity reversal
--healthcare reform

#3259: FEATURES OF EXTRA-EXPENSIVE PANTS

--built-in smoke detector
--auto-johnson
--pocket pool table next to the jukebox

#7212b: NICKNAMES OF BOYS YOU WOULDN'T WANT YOUR SISTER OR DAUGHTER TO DATE (Derived from Toys)

--Etchasketchy
--Monopoligamist
--Mr. Potato-Hands

#6181: HIGHWAY SIGNS (Not at All Encouraging)

for PKM

--"HIGHWAY ENDS -- 500 FT BEHIND YOU"
--"RETIREMENT COMMUNITY, NEXT 6 EXITS"
--"YOUR PANTS ARE UNZIPPED"

#4098: WHERE DID I LEAVE MY PANTS?

--on Semester at Sea
--near the statue of Pancho Villa, downtown Ensenada
--in the conference room

#125: POCKETBUCKET LISTS (How to Play)

--As with any good game, this one should be played with an eye toward learning something...about the game, or about the others playing it, or about oneself, or about whatever the hell the damn list is about.
--All players should completely ignore any critical voices (either internal or external) telling you that you're not good enough to play the game.
--Fuck those voices! They're only useful when they're telling you that you can't reason with alligators.

#124: POCKETBUCKET LISTS (WTF???)

--Should the need arise, any list can be called upon to serve as a "bucket list."
--Should one wish to have a list upon oneself at all times (just in case) keeping the list "pocket-sized" is not a bad call.
--Pocketbucket, pocketbucket, pocketbucket...just say that a bunch of times.

#123: THE RULES OF POCKETBUCKET LISTS

--The list is not finished until it has at least 3 items.
--No judging.
--Pass the pen with the list.

#34529: REMAINING (From the Original Pack)

--butterscotch spacefood stick
--Don Rickles
--hope

#2011: INFINITY (The Sandwich)

--mobius pretzel
--peanut butter on a polenta roll
--Escher Christo

#4411b: WHO DOESN'T LAFF WHEN SOMEONE SAYS "BLUE-FOOTED BOOBYS"

--Oprah
--other blue-footed boobys
--Chuck Darwin's official biographer

#2299: ALLITERATION FUN (Euphemism for Wanking)

--Tiptoeing toward the tulips
--Catching the catastrophe
--A bit of the ol' zizzerzazzerzuzz

#9210: MAGAZINES THAT ADVERTISE IN THE DSM

--Neurotic's Thrice-Weekly
--Obsessive-Compulsive's Double Shrink-Wrapped Prime Number Date News
--Depressive's Whenever

#1980: CURRENT EVENTS IN THE SQUIRREL WORLD

(list by LS,PKM,L and EM,JDF @SOBO)

--the "Filbert Affair"
--rampant obesity due to the long fall
--the long fall of Butterclaws

#5218b: DISCOUNTINUED XMAS CHARACTERS (No Longer Relevant, Post-70's)

--Noggy, the Red-Nosed Christmas Booze-Hound
--Satan
--Mr. Sniffles, the Candycane-Snorting Elf

#10007: JELLO MOLDS (Discontinued)

--Y2K Bug
--Hitler's head, but before he grew the mustache
--Any US state that's sorta shaped like a penis