PocketBucket Lists

28 October 2017

#49910: Other State Secrets Divulged by the President

-- recipe for White House kitchen's amazing ranch dressing (to Kid Rock)
-- penis size (to Merkel, May, etc)
-- first 4 digits of nuclear codes (to spam email form offering free slinky)

#71670: Urologist Slogans to Avoid

-- "Put the jingle back in your tinkle!" (Dr. I. Leftwiz)
-- "He'll never stiff you!" (Dr. J. "Armstrong" Bass)
-- "Catheter got your tongue?" (anon.)

#32489: More Discontinued Costco Items

-- Candied Genoa salami
-- DVD Life of Jesus: Director's Cut
-- olives as big as a baby's fist

#63090: Loose Meat Sandwiches of Infamy

-- Sloppy-Joe's Science Fair project
-- bhan mi with Denise
-- The "pulled pork in public" incident

#60469: M-I-S-S--I-S-S-!

-- A-P-P, O

-- U-S-W-I-L-S-O-N, L-E-E-P-I-N-G-W-I-T-H-T-H-E-G-Y-M-T-E-A-C-H-E-R
-- U-R-P, E-R-R

#51757: Not Moving on Ebay

-- Hitler's enema bag (reproduction)
-- big-wheel with a bent wheel
-- my bowels (Buy It Now!)

#2271: Cage-Free Kung Fu Films

-- Secret of the Herbs and Spices: Return of Col. Yang
-- Enter the Restaurant
-- Chicken-Foot Monk's Revenge

#29158: Bad Adjectives to Find in a Wine Review

-- Nixonian
-- cargopants-ish
-- formadehydey

#62290: More Useful Religious Tracts

-- Prosyletizing about Your Prostate: God Has a Glove On
-- Blessed Are the Meek, My Ass!
-- Here. Use This to Cover that Stain.

#67986: More Worst Triplets Names

-- Zither, Panflute, and Jeff
-- Kim-Jong, Zuckerberg, and Snooki
-- Tom-And-Jerry, Jerold, and Tom

#65951: Worst Pilgrimages

-- taxi to the Cathedral of Sharts
-- el camino del food poisoning
-- journey back in time to see my English teach naked again

#70185: Clowns that Never Got Off the Ground

-- Buffo and his magic chamois
-- Short Adolph
-- Mr. Unprepared

#5263: "I Demand My Writes"

-- epic poem about the oldest Winchells Donuts in SE Denver
-- note excusing me from work forever
-- just one more letter from either of my parents

#73445: Remind Me Again

-- why I chose to wear salmon pants
-- why our species forgot to conquer death
-- why Dave brought so much extra lube

#40056: Picture of Health (More Like a Sketch)

-- aging dictator of Greencouchistan

-- my overweight tabby-Siamese mix cat
-- retirement savings

#68577: A: Katie Couric's Colonoscopy Video

-- Q: What won the hearts of filmgoers at the 1996 Topeka Film Fest?
-- Q: What is the worst name for a nightclub that you can come up with?
-- Q: In what film does the hero quote my poetry?

#68206: "Pick of the Litter"

-- unsquashed powdered donut at the edge of the box
-- colorful advertising flyer featuring smiling face of an attractive Jesus
-- whatever falls from the back of the emperor's motorcycle