#10999: Try and ____ Again

 -- Destroy Troy

 -- Tricycle on the Roof of a Speeding Train

 -- Trip Trent

#33355: "Best Years of Our Lives!" (Other Demographics)

 -- Klerrrb-A-Palooza!, years 4407.7B - 4704.B7 (creature from Planet Klooot)

 -- Before the invention of dumpster lids but after the invention of dumpsters (raccoon)

 -- Early nirvana, when it still felt, y'know...earned (Buddha)

 

#1031b: Costumes (Ambiguous)

 -- Me, but taller somehow...

 -- Opthamologist

 -- Sexy mixed metaphor

#87310: Proud Accomplishments (Other Species)

 -- Listened to "In the Aeroplane over the Sea" but with the tracks in alpha order (hipster nerd)

 -- Pile of stolen nuts (squirrel)

 -- Got through hygiene lecture without giggling (teenage Al Gore)

#13741: Not Enough of, Ever

-- chocolate frosted donuts

-- non-stressful harmonica solos

-- hugs from my kids

#13944: Clerical Errors of the Supernatural

-- haunted by the ghost of former English teacher but you were never actually enrolled in her class

-- lycanthropic philanthropy

-- Ouija board got it wrong all fucking night, man

#13562: More Discontinued Clowns (too clingy)

-- Nostalgo

-- Hugs, the Bear-Hugging Half Bear

-- Disappointy-Head Dave

#13433: What Are We REALLY Trying to Accomplish Here?

-- make Al Gore giggle again

-- roll the old wooden ball into the smallest hole

-- nothing less than total world domination in a very narrow area

#13474: More Winning Strategies for the Apocalypse

 

-- Invest in good running shoes

-- Avoid any quartet of motorcyclists or horseback riders

-- zombification = gentrification w/o the cute shops

#13551: I Shall Fear No Eval

-- unspoken judgment of lady selling me 48-pack of twinkies

-- clown court

-- results from “Which Osmond Brother Is Your Myers-Briggs Type” online quiz (it’s going to be Meryl, though)

#13223: Are There Any Questions?

 

-- Who wants to know?

-- Why do you ask?

-- Any poptarts left?

#13187: The Responsible Thing

-- Because I misheard her say the word “folate”

-- Left life to the last minute again

-- Codependent relationship with donuts

#13720: Dangerously Unclear on the Concept

 

-- when cousin Marshall brought his collage pieces to that MMA tourney

-- cayenne jello

-- CrocDates.com ("Date a Live Crocodile tonight!")

#91115: Didn't Make It onto the Ark

 -- breed of cat that doesn't york in your shoes

 -- cast-iron pigeons

 -- Ursus Snoozebaricus

#13001: More Not to Be Repeated Moments

 

-- seventh grade

-- gonorrhea test

-- Trivial Pursuit with Al Gore

#13540: Less-Enrolled Electives This Semester

-- Total Honesty 2B

-- Showing Up on Time Seminar

-- Non-Masturbation Practicum

#13022: Friendly Insults

-- Your ass looks like my college roommate Paul (whom I always liked).

-- I am refreshed by your unironic vapidity!

-- Nice nuclear bomb, Einstein!

#13122: There Wasn’t Supposed to Be

-- fire ants

-- this awkward ride to the airport with Denise

-- chocolate-flavored potato chips

#13501: Why They Hate My Dog

-- mispronounces his woofs

-- will kill anyone who sits on that bench

-- still pooping out legos

#61324: Other Things I Can Do with My Toes

-- applaud at poetry readings

-- pick up dropped doritos

-- make you forget your troubles for awhile

#61222: Other Things, Besides a Fish, that You Can’t Tune

-- a casserole

-- a didjeridoo

-- a Siamese cat

#61727: More Nicknames for Big Feet

-- leg hammers

-- the Grand Toetons

-- pedal-pounders

#61654: Less Controversial Judgements of Paris

-- the BBQ burger instead of the quinoa salad

-- dark blue undershorts for formal events

-- Goddess of Love over Goddess of Head-lice

#93958: More Signs That It's Time to Panic

 -- streets crowded with feral pigs
 -- hard to find good blue jeans
 -- reanimation of dead presidents and/or 50's exercise gurus becomes a thing

#61445: Not-Quite-Solved Mysteries

-- What’s under there?

-- Why do you ALWAYS fall for that gag? (heh-heh, you said “underwear”)

-- Chickens, motivations thereof.