#21729: Three More Wishes for the Genie

 -- three more wishes

 -- 12-inch pianist

 -- power to make it rain jellybeans

#13614: Preparations for the Inevitible

 -- get one of those donut-shaped chair pillows

 -- SPF 5800

 -- resignation speech pre-written on back of eylelids

#60469: M-I-S-S-____-I-S-S-____!

 -- A-P-P, O

 -- U-S-W-I-L-S-O-N, L-E-E-P-I-N-G-W-I-T-H-T-H-E-G-Y-M-T-E-A-C-H-E-R

 -- U-R-P, E-R-R

#71290: Reasons Not to Invite Dave to the Orgy

 -- hung like a velociraptor

 -- not enough kleenex in the world

 -- always shows up pre-lubed

#24602: Blues (Deserved)

 -- Got the Lowdown Ineffective Senate Majority Leader Blues

 -- Done Gone Confused the Lube with the Ben-Gay Agin

 -- Another Damn Friday with Ronald

#57464: More ___ than a ____ of ____

 -- sticky, sweatlodge, Jeffs

 -- questionable, banquet, microwaved meatballs

 -- than a woman, tenor section, disco crooners

#45202: Permanent Features of Mediocracy

 -- neighbor with lawn gnome fetish

 -- tattoo of Clara Peller on ass

 -- Monument to the Unknown Monument

#31246: This Workplace ____ -Free for More than 30 Days!

 -- cigarette

 -- terrestrial-squid-attack

 -- disappointing-bowel-movement