29 April 2016

#21729: Three More Wishes for the Genie


 -- three more wishes
 -- 12-inch pianist
 -- power to make it rain jellybeans

25 April 2016

#13614: Preparations for the Inevitible


 -- get one of those donut-shaped chair pillows
 -- SPF 5800
 -- resignation speech pre-written on back of eylelids

23 April 2016

#60469: M-I-S-S-____-I-S-S-____!


 -- A-P-P, O
 -- U-S-W-I-L-S-O-N, L-E-E-P-I-N-G-W-I-T-H-T-H-E-G-Y-M-T-E-A-C-H-E-R
 -- U-R-P, E-R-R

21 April 2016

#71290: Reasons Not to Invite Dave to the Orgy


 -- hung like a velociraptor
 -- not enough kleenex in the world
 -- always shows up pre-lubed

17 April 2016

#24602: Blues (Deserved)


 -- Got the Lowdown Ineffective Senate Majority Leader Blues
 -- Done Gone Confused the Lube with the Ben-Gay Agin
 -- Another Damn Friday with Ronald

13 April 2016

#57464: More ___ than a ____ of ____


 -- sticky, sweatlodge, Jeffs
 -- questionable, banquet, microwaved meatballs
 -- than a woman, tenor section, disco crooners

12 April 2016

#45202: Permanent Features of Mediocracy


 -- neighbor with lawn gnome fetish
 -- tattoo of Clara Peller on ass
 -- Monument to the Unknown Monument