23 February 2015

#69427: "That's Mr. ____ to You, Pal!"


 -- Mr. Henderson
 -- Pain-in-the-ass Good Samaritan
 -- Starting Quarterback for the St. Louis Rams

19 February 2015

#40107: And Then I Woke Up….(More)


-- Edgar Allan Poe is washing my hair, but wait…that’s not shampoo!
-- startle response startled by more interior startle response
-- the curtain rises and the audience is made up entirely of shrieking tubers
 

18 February 2015

#1666: Cheerful Disasters

 
-- Hurricane Peaches
-- that salmon-colored blazer Dad wore to the wedding
 -- the Hindenburp

13 February 2015

12 February 2015

11 February 2015

#42015: Blurbs from Poets on the Back of My Upcoming Collection, "The Year the Eggs Cracked" (Not)


 -- "J Diego Frey's poetry is better than his singing voice, barely!" -- T.S. Eliot
 -- "What Frey does with a stanza should be illegal in the Midwest!" -- Edna St. Vincent Millay
 -- "J Diego who?" -- Bob Frost

10 February 2015

#19894: More Unpopular Spirit Animals


 -- jellyfish (in fact, most translucent invertbrates)
 -- Jeff
 -- stevia-badger

06 February 2015

#55403: Stays against Execution (Simple Bodily Functions Category)


-- not taking credit cards with you to the bar
-- agreement w/yourself to not jump out window when “Seasons in the Sun” comes on the radio
-- the “ol’ sphincter clench”

05 February 2015

#73425: Monkeynote Speakers


-- Dr. Zaius (again)
-- Koko’s sign-language teacher
-- guy who drives the banana truck
 

04 February 2015

02 February 2015

#37990: If Loving You Is Wrong…


-- …I don’t wanna get caught at it.
-- …what’s the correct answer then…D) All of the Above?
-- …loving your sister is wronger.