31 October 2014

#1031b: Increasingly Less-Popular Halloween Costumes [Inside Joke Category]

 

-- “That time Dave’s cat crapped in my shoe”

-- “More like…Wolfgang Schmuck!”

-- “The thing with the banana tacos...you know...in Ensenada? Remember?"

24 October 2014

#37551: More Discontinued Clowns (Taken Off the Market Due to Complaints from Angry Moms)


-- Sweary Larry (The Potty-Mouthed Clown)

-- Grabbo (The Clown who Can’t Keep His Hands to Himself)

-- Heisenboing

#19174: Cartoon-Character Tattoos


-- Betty Worth on the left butt cheek
-- Bill the Cat on face
-- SpongeBob and your nipples are his eyes

21 October 2014

#50112: More Bad Advice


-- The answer, my friend, is “more Jagermeister.”
-- Laugh at the funny policeman’s shocky phone!
-- Stay sweet.

18 October 2014

#81632: Surprisingly Effective “Talking Cures”


-- applied utilization of choice expletives
-- the 6-minute groan
-- repeatedly saying “Nobody has to die tonight” through your clenched teeth on the drive home from work

16 October 2014

#2526b: More Superheroes that I Believe Actually Exist


-- Captain Squishy  (“Protecting the world from an excess of sour-cream and onion potato chips!”)

-- The Kvetch  (“Able to alter history through the power of his complaining!”)

-- Halitosio!

15 October 2014

#5121: "I'll Be _____ for My Own _____"


 -- Late, Circumcision
 -- Groggy, Audience with the Pope
 -- Awake, Funeral

11 October 2014

#41854: Is That Even Possible?


-- Time Travel (maybe)
-- Lime Travel (yes)
-- Mime Travel (yes, but not advisable)

09 October 2014

08 October 2014

05 October 2014

03 October 2014

#71153: More Difficult Deliveries

 
-- 15 kegs of Schlitz to Everest base camp
-- keynote speech at National Laser Pointer Enthusiasts Association banquet
-- station wagon full of free-range lobsters

02 October 2014

#70045: Non-Pisa Leaning Towers


 -- The Leaning Tower of Un-Lived-Up-To Potential 
 -- The Leaning Tower of Flapjacks
 -- The Leaning Tower of Dennis, Ever Since the Operation