31 January 2015

#42212: Less Popular Sir Mix-a-lot Songs

 
-- “Baby Got Cheap Filp-flops!”
-- “Baby Got Baco-bits!”
-- “Baby Got a Cold Sore! (Uh-Huh, Where?)”

29 January 2015

#68469: The Betting Line for the Rest of the Century

 

-- pigeons + 6 over penguins

-- Richie Rich + 27 over Sackcloth Sal

-- slaps even vs. tickles

26 January 2015

#8001: Descriptions that Stuck with Him


-- "just another clown in poetry's shoes"
-- "dances like a crash-test dummy"
-- "Parker Stevenson-y"

#9119b: What’s for Breakfast, Satan?


-- horribly burnt toast
-- steaming bowl of your own regrets
-- scorn flakes

23 January 2015

20 January 2015

#10558: A Stretch, but I’ll Manage Somehow


-- adulthood
-- waiting until the end of the movie to pee
-- living/working with wolves

18 January 2015

#20922: Clear Indicators


-- glass thumb
-- t-shirt has both the word “mustache” and a picture of a mustache on it
-- velociraptor is smiling
 

14 January 2015

#11215: What Is That Guy in the Background of the Live Video Feed from the City Council Muttering to Himself?


 -- Poetry, shmoetry...let's get to the goddam legislatin'!
 -- Soon, my pets,soon I will let you free to feast on the good citizens of this 'Burg. 
 -- The is the worst open-mike reading in history. 

10 January 2015

#54110: Good Things to Put Off

 
-- checking my messages
-- an effective pheromone
-- people who “don’t appreciate” wanking jokes

08 January 2015

#54221: Wouldn’t Want to Meet, Even in a Well-Lit Alley


-- spiders larger than poodles
-- the Republican-controlled congress
-- Twisty the clown

06 January 2015

04 January 2015

#75115: Breakfast Favorites (Other Species)

 
-- soft, just starting to rot nuts (squirrel)
-- 3-zorb omlette with klerrb and element J212 (creature from Planet Klooot)
-- rye toast, baby heads, coffee (Karl Rove)

03 January 2015

#65462: More Unclaimed Alter-Egos


-- Metermaidman!
-- The Golden Asshole
-- Steve’s creepy cousin, Phillipe

01 January 2015

#27707(f): Classic Book Titles with One Word Replaced by the Word "Eggplant"


 -- The Sound and the Eggplant
 -- Harry Potter and the Chamber of Eggplants
 -- Great Eggsplantations