29 September 2015

#13551: I Shall Fear No Eval


-- unspoken judgment of lady selling me 48-pack of twinkies

-- clown court

-- results from “Which Osmond Brother Is Your Myers-Briggs Type” online quiz (it’s going to be Meryl, though)

23 September 2015

#13223: Are There Any Questions?

 

-- Who wants to know?

-- Why do you ask?

-- Any poptarts left?

21 September 2015

#13187: The Responsible Thing


-- Because I misheard her say the word “folate”

-- Left life to the last minute again

-- Codependent relationship with donuts

16 September 2015

#13720: Dangerously Unclear on the Concept

 

-- when cousin Marshall brought his collage pieces to that MMA tourney

-- cayenne jello

-- CrocDates.com ("Date a Live Crocodile tonight!")

11 September 2015

#91115: Didn't Make It onto the Ark


 -- breed of cat that doesn't york in your shoes
 -- cast-iron pigeons
 -- Ursus Snoozebaricus

08 September 2015

#13001: More Not to Be Repeated Moments

 

-- seventh grade

-- gonorrhea test

-- Trivial Pursuit with Al Gore

04 September 2015

#13540: Less-Enrolled Electives This Semester


-- Total Honesty 2B

-- Showing Up on Time Seminar

-- Non-Masturbation Practicum

02 September 2015

#13022: Friendly Insults


-- Your ass looks like my college roommate Paul (whom I always liked).

-- I am refreshed by your unironic vapidity!

-- Nice nuclear bomb, Einstein!