tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27358882177994207592024-03-13T12:15:22.265-06:00PocketBucket ListsJDiegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00617458333055968183noreply@blogger.comBlogger686125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2735888217799420759.post-71265130202165218772024-02-05T12:47:00.003-07:002024-02-05T12:47:47.215-07:00 #4338: Things that Six Did after Seven Eight Nine<p><br /></p><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">--called Four Five</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">--ran Two Three</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">--One a raffle</div></div>JDiegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00617458333055968183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2735888217799420759.post-35816223910072839862024-02-05T12:46:00.003-07:002024-02-05T12:46:29.921-07:00#57149: Backup Dancers (Other Species)<p><br /></p><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"> -- The Loose Nuts (squirrel)</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"> -- A Hundred Thousand Similar Looking Crustaceans (krill)</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"> -- The Krakenettes! (the Kraken)</div></div>JDiegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00617458333055968183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2735888217799420759.post-25817934873751812572024-02-05T12:40:00.000-07:002024-02-05T12:40:00.343-07:00#49196: Tragedies (Small Enough to Be Funny)<p> <span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: inherit; font-size: 15px; white-space-collapse: preserve;">#49196: Tragedies (Small Enough to Be Funny)</span></p><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"> -- too much ketchup on your road cheeseburger</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"> -- a literary career primarily based on superfluous <span style="font-family: inherit;"><a style="color: #385898; cursor: pointer; font-family: inherit;" tabindex="-1"></a></span>3-item lists</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"> -- Harvey Comics character, Tiny Hamlet and his wisecracking penguin, Chillenkrantz</div></div>JDiegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00617458333055968183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2735888217799420759.post-59335020405890970112024-02-05T12:39:00.001-07:002024-02-05T12:40:14.039-07:00#65675: Stupid Package Deals<p><br /></p><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"> -- dinner and a movie about the meat-packing industry</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"> -- room and board of directors</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"> -- Netflix and chill to zero degrees Kelvin</div></div>JDiegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00617458333055968183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2735888217799420759.post-18871769757803929212024-02-05T12:37:00.005-07:002024-02-05T12:37:37.303-07:00#40121: April Fools Pranks (Other Species)<p><br /></p><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"> — push your buddy off of a branch and then bite his nuts (squirrel)</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"> — put up a bunch of “no mitosis allowed” signs in the break room (amoeba)</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"> — dye the klerrrb pink and make noises like a 3-horned greep (creature from the planet Klooot)</div></div>JDiegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00617458333055968183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2735888217799420759.post-71138122235460605552024-02-05T12:36:00.005-07:002024-02-05T12:40:29.698-07:00#70821b: More SMALLER URBAN CENTER CIVIC ANTHEMS (Eastern Colorado)<p><br /></p><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">--"Trinidad—Not Too Bad!” by Dave “L.” Johnson</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">--"Who Needs Eads? (Unh, I Do.)" by unknown</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">--"Two Buttes Is Enough Buttes for Me!" by Burt Bacharach</div></div>JDiegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00617458333055968183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2735888217799420759.post-20873221804368313852024-02-05T12:34:00.005-07:002024-02-05T12:40:37.708-07:00#2271: Halloween Costumes (Scary, Because It's True!)<p><br /></p><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"> -- Dennis's receding hairline</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"> -- the chewy bits in a bowl of Dollar Store spumoni</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"> -- Covid-denying Frankenstein</div></div>JDiegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00617458333055968183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2735888217799420759.post-8984506055711601712024-02-05T12:33:00.004-07:002024-02-05T12:40:52.297-07:00#404: Possible Names for the New Donkey<p><br /></p><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"> — Dennis</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"> — Dennis the Tremendous</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"> — Dennis the Tremendous Tennis Donkey from Venice</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"> — <span style="font-family: inherit;"><a style="color: #385898; cursor: pointer; font-family: inherit;" tabindex="-1"></a></span>Curveball</div></div>JDiegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00617458333055968183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2735888217799420759.post-6811913173193659282024-02-05T12:31:00.004-07:002024-02-05T12:41:05.782-07:00#61103: More Rejected Gameshow Premises<p><br /></p><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">-- “Who Wants to Change My Pants?”</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">-- “Cage-Match” with Charles Nelson-Reilly</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">-- “Gut That Fish!”</div></div>JDiegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00617458333055968183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2735888217799420759.post-71451076446870508802024-02-05T12:30:00.004-07:002024-02-05T12:41:13.256-07:00#72561: Rarer then "When Pigs Fly"<p><br /></p><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"> -- "When pigs fly, but you actually know some of the pigs."</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"> -- "When pugs fly."</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"> -- "When pigs fly, but you actually know some of the pigs are pugs."</div></div>JDiegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00617458333055968183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2735888217799420759.post-30918441835432354932024-02-05T12:29:00.006-07:002024-02-05T12:41:20.435-07:00#30004: Let's Clear a Few Things Up<p><br /></p><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"> -- I was there.</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"> -- I saw what you did.</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"> -- It's all been a pack of lies.</div></div>JDiegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00617458333055968183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2735888217799420759.post-36124956805031866122024-02-05T12:27:00.010-07:002024-02-05T12:42:19.278-07:00#11215: Unjust Reasons for Your Poor Performance Review<p><br /></p><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"> -- refusal to kiss boss's pet toad, Bobo, on the lips</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"> -- name is similar to that of Serbian porn sensation, Lennard Smoot</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"> -- intermittent cinnamon-y flatulence</div></div>JDiegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00617458333055968183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2735888217799420759.post-65243154376235548762024-02-05T12:27:00.009-07:002024-02-05T12:41:27.434-07:00#12342: Let's All Be Grateful For<p><br /></p><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"> -- functional plumbing</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"> -- all of our weirder friends</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"> -- good-looking poets</div></div>JDiegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00617458333055968183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2735888217799420759.post-59361528199700373182024-02-05T12:24:00.003-07:002024-02-05T12:42:40.499-07:00#28290: Lesser Pandemics<p><br /></p><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"> — the Bernie-memepocalypse (2021)</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"> — Halitosis ‘76!</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"> — the Fresno Head-lice Incident</div></div>JDiegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00617458333055968183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2735888217799420759.post-82439007939909466062024-02-05T12:23:00.004-07:002024-02-05T12:42:47.374-07:00#55621: Great Pop Songs about Tofu<p><br /></p><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"> — Fooled Around and Fell (in Tofu)</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"> — Sympathy for the Bean Curd</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"> — To-To-Fuddio!</div></div>JDiegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00617458333055968183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2735888217799420759.post-50139153614432380832024-02-05T12:22:00.004-07:002024-02-05T12:42:54.376-07:00#60610: Great Catch! (Near Great)<p><br /></p><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">— Waking up next to a 3-item list writer</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">— That time Mabel swatted a bat right out of the night air</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">— Grabbed the liquid paper right before it spilled on the real paper</div></div>JDiegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00617458333055968183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2735888217799420759.post-15308501206279830572024-02-05T12:20:00.004-07:002024-02-05T12:43:01.617-07:00#4356: Under-Represented Subjects in Modern Poetry<p><br /></p><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"> -- the enthusiastic eating of waffles</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"> -- toenails</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"> -- what it's like inside a hose</div></div>JDiegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00617458333055968183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2735888217799420759.post-325679778352861452024-02-05T12:18:00.002-07:002024-02-05T12:43:11.724-07:00#47487: Random April Fools Pranks<p><br /></p><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"> -- replace all the xenon with argon</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"> -- start walking like a crab</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"> -- every number except 36 is now odd</div></div>JDiegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00617458333055968183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2735888217799420759.post-64524903298698255422024-02-05T12:16:00.004-07:002024-02-05T12:43:27.197-07:00#78880: April Fools Pranks (Difficult to Pull Off)<p><br /></p><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"> -- claim to have grown a third testicle</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"> -- mathematical subversion of Dr. Kornwald's theorem</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"> -- Ducks have taken over Earth!</div></div>JDiegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00617458333055968183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2735888217799420759.post-81497805379422224172024-02-05T12:14:00.005-07:002024-02-05T12:43:18.043-07:00#66422: Hours after Happy Hour (4-6)<p><br /></p><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"> -- Creeping Discontent Hour (6-8)</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"> -- Cry like a Lonely Wino Hour (8-9)</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"> -- Any Pants in a Storm Hour (9-)</div></div>JDiegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00617458333055968183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2735888217799420759.post-63941812129682993562024-02-05T12:11:00.004-07:002024-02-05T12:43:34.503-07:00#14802: Less Impressive Superhero Skills of Budget Protagonist, Captain Capable<p><br /></p><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"> — usually has tape</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"> — able to leap</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"> — speaks fluent turtle</div></div>JDiegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00617458333055968183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2735888217799420759.post-8655316405244037722024-02-05T12:10:00.004-07:002024-02-05T12:43:40.864-07:00#59192: More Colonoscopy Video Soundtrack Songs<p><br /></p><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"> -- Nice Work If You Can Get It</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"> -- Cold as Ice</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"> -- Touch Me in the Morning</div></div>JDiegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00617458333055968183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2735888217799420759.post-68294148413470915522024-02-05T12:07:00.004-07:002024-02-05T12:07:49.302-07:00#71122a: Less Transcendent Forms of Spirit Travel<p><br /></p><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"> -- GurUber</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"> -- "on the wings of Doug!"</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"> -- asshole projection</div></div>JDiegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00617458333055968183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2735888217799420759.post-22146253718702529502024-02-05T12:05:00.006-07:002024-02-05T12:44:00.696-07:00#6310b: More Presidential Penis Nicknames (Two Truths and a Lie)<p><br /></p><div dir="auto" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; white-space-collapse: preserve;"> — “Jumbo” (LBJ)</div><div dir="auto" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; white-space-collapse: preserve;"> — “‘Captain’ Stanford Hogg” (FDR)</div><div dir="auto" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; white-space-collapse: preserve;"> — “Jerry” (WGH)</div>JDiegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00617458333055968183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2735888217799420759.post-17600973112806195202018-07-10T15:50:00.001-06:002018-07-10T15:50:38.018-06:00#7373: Tests for Doneness<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
— voices of everyone else in the room start to sound like bees buzzing<div>
— ass begins to itch, legs go numb</div>
<div>
— toothpick stuck into soft part no longer elicits yelps of pain</div>
</div>
JDiegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00617458333055968183noreply@blogger.com1